My Mom was an artist... quite a good one. There must be some of that in me I've always thought... but seems I got most of my Dad's thing... logical, responsible...not creative. In the last few years more creative has been coming out in the form of gardening... like more artistic ways to shape walls, dirt, making a shed that is more creative then structure. I've really always wanted to be a sketcher though. But I don't put time into it. It's something I want to be ... but don't act on it. Know what I'm talking about? You say you want it, and you do want it in your mind. Buuuutttt. It isn't what you actually do. Why is that? Sure I have a sketchbook, but I've got at most 10 pages in a month. Hardly a passion. Not even a hobby really. When I di actually draw... mostly I love it! Every now and then I get a dud but that's life right. In some sense I'm scared of sketching... I don't even know why. Scared of my inner critic? Scared of that moment when I break out the sketchbook and face the combination of the blank page and the scene in front of me... and get that oh shit what do I do moment? Can you relate? Calling it a fear even seems weird. Like it's not a fear I tell myself I just don't want to do it. I'm smart enough now to recognize that ego magic trick. At least mostly ... for I still seem to fall for it a lot. I get that feeling and then go yeah ok I'll do something else instead (ie NOT sketching). How often does that show up in your life?
I'm tired of listening to that thought... to letting fear win so to speak. Speaking of fears... I have a huge fear of showing my art to others... scared of sharing. To hell with that... here's a sketch of a place my wife and I would love to see in person... Phnatom Ranch at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Anyway, I gotta go... I'm taking a sketching class and doing sketching. Cheers!
